The Cost Of Community 

I have been in Indonesia for 19 months now, wow! Its crazy how a two week trip turned into never leaving. Each month I would say “this is my last month” genuinely convincing myself that I would move along, stuck in this limbo phase of not committing to staying in the one spot. I have spent most of my time in Bali and I love the intensity of being here, however, it can get too overwhelming if you don’t make a conscious effort to ground yourself. There are many sides to the different communities of people that live here, some can be superficial, super spiritual, business obsessed, on a loooonnggg vacation and everywhere inbetween. At some point in my journey I had a moment of ‘what the fuck am I doing with my life?’ so I did what any normal person would do… I packed up my life into a car and drove to a rice field in the north of Bali to spend one month ALONE in a wooden bungalow.

I thought that if I isolate myself, I will remove all distractions and thoughts/ beliefs from other people and this will give my own unique ideas room to surface. I went there hoping I would leave with some direction and clarity. Instead, I left feeling disregulated, frozen and more confused than ever, so it turns out, you probably shouldn’t spend so much time alone. This is where I met Mega, she is the niece of the farmer who owned and worked in the rice fields around my bungalow. Their family welcomed me in with generosity and kindness, when we first met, she was just about to give birth.

Fast forward a few months later I had the honour of photographing a traditional Balinese ceremony for her baby boy. I admire the Balinese people and their culture a lot, and on this day, I was noticing all the details that much more. Photography is such a meditation for me, forcing me into the present moment, focusing on each moment as it plays out. The Balinese people have ceremonies often, and I notice in my own life that when I am visiting the same places and doing the same activities, I stop noticing all these small details; they become mundane. I wonder if the Balinese people notice the beauty of their ceremonies or if it becomes so normal to them. The same way someone going to the local church their whole life wouldn’t appreciate the art and architecture every visit. I was attending the ceremony with fresh eyes, and I was feeling mesmerised by all the little things. The explosion of colour in the clothing, the details and care that go into the offerings and how they use a different flower petal used for each moment during prayer. I loved the jewellery and chunky rings the men were wearing, but the thing I noticed most was the sense of community. Everyone had joined in the celebration, each with their own role and were doing so with a smile.

I felt so welcomed by the family, and by the end of the ceremony, I had such mixed emotions; I was feeling jealous, but at the same time, I was feeling so full of love after witnessing such a wholesome celebration. Feelings of jealousy are always a key into what you really want, and my biggest thought was that the Balinese people are so lucky to have such a strong community, but actually, it’s not luck… It’s hard work.

Now, it’s easier than ever to connect, but I think it’s made us even more disconnected than ever before. It’s easy to sit at home and create a false level of intimacy through micro connections on your phone or through connecting with characters on a TV show. But if you were to strip all these things away and were left only with humans you could talk to in person, I think all of a sudden our schedules would free up and our willingness to go out on a day we aren’t feeling 100% would increase. I often have days where I want to stay home, feeling anxious, feeling sad, not wanting to make the effort to have conversations with people… but that’s the medicine for getting you out of these moods. Connection helps bring us back.

So after spending a month alone making friends only with geckos, frogs and all sorts of other animals that live in the rice field, I didn’t have an answer. I didn’t know ‘what I was going to do with my life’ so instead I decided to just go and live it. I packed a 25L backpack with my camera gear and some clothes, I took my bike and without putting on the map I just drove. I let my intuition be my guide and 4 months later, wearing the same few items of clothing that I had squeezed into my small bag I somehow found myself in Sumatra. Along the way I made some amazing connections, took some great photos, and most importantly, reminded myself that when you don’t know what’s next just do SOMETHING and the rest of the path will appear as you go. I learnt that it’s ok to ask for support and that next time i’m feeling stressed I don’t have to run away to the jungle. I learnt that to have good friends you have to BE a good friend! That it’s so important to pour love, commitment and time into all the relationships in your life. That if your community is strong you can go through the best and worst of times and know that you will be supported. Each time I feel like bailing on an important event or feel too lazy to check in with a friend I think back to this period and remember that community is not luck, it’s hard work.

I felt very honoured to be invited into such an important moment in this family’s lives. Here is a small gallery of moments from the day:

August 2025  

Bali, Indonesia